I’ve been thinking about this often since we haven’t been to many shows lately. You know that feeling when you’re driving home, either buzzing or quiet, and it all starts to settle? Dog showing, dog breeding—it’s not about US. It’s not personal. It’s about the dogs.
That ribbon doesn’t make me kinder. That win doesn’t make me a better person. Having a top-winning dog doesn’t mean I’ve got life figured out. Our dogs’ successes and failures aren’t a report card on us. They’re just… moments. Beautiful, fleeting moments that belong to them. We’re just lucky enough to be along for the ride.
So when the day goes our way, the only things that feel right are quiet thanks and paying it forward. Help someone new. Loan a lead. Share a tip. That stuff lasts longer than any trophy.
But let’s be honest—the real test isn’t in the winning. It’s in how we handle the rest of it.
The flip side of being humble when you win is being graceful when you don’t. No eye rolls. No whispers in the parking lot. No blaming the judge, the weather, or luck. Just a deep breath, a sincere “congratulations,” and moving on. It’s harder, but it matters more.
And when we make mistakes—and we all do—own them. Look inward, not outward. Gossiping or putting others down to make yourself feel better? That’s just noise. Real strength is in learning, adjusting, and trying again with a clearer head.
I have been guilty of poor behavior, just like many of us, but over the past few years I’ve made real efforts to change. I set boundaries. I set goals. I listen more than I speak. Have I messed up? Sure. Have I worked to correct those mistakes? You bet I have.
This goes for breeding, too. Producing a great litter means different things to different breeders. Working with others can go well or poorly. Own the mistakes as well as the successes. Stop airing dirty laundry when it goes south. Use your words to correct regrets and fix bad situations.
In that same vein, don’t brag when you have a whelping box of eight bitch puppies as if it’s some ‘breeder’s dream.’ Instead, work hard to find the best, most responsible homes you can. Pet homes are ideal. Assuming every puppy is a ‘show home’ prospect just feeds the ego—it says you think everything you produce is top-notch, which means you think that’s you, too. Let’s stop doing that.
We’re here because we love these Staffords, the craft, the chase for that ideal. But let’s not confuse the dog’s show record with our own character. One is judged on the day. The other is built over a lifetime.
At the end of the day, maybe it’s simple: be good to the dogs, be good to each other, and don’t take any of it—the highs or the lows—too personally. That’s how the fancy stays worth loving. Don’t let your own actions define what the public wants to vilify.
Be better.