Some milestones that we as breeders reach are goals we have set for ourselves. When we reach these milestones there is celebration and a feeling of success. Other milestones are not a reason to celebrate and we all, eventually, will reach them.

One such event is the loss of the first dog of your breeding. You were there when the dog was born and you remember that day like it was yesterday. You recall holding that tiny helpless baby in your hands and marveling at his perfect form. You remember counting those adorable tiny toes and kissing that adorable tiny nose. Your heart swelled with love and you couldn’t even believe how much love you already had for these beautiful babies and their mother. Its your first litter and one you will never forget.

You remember the day he went home with his new owners, all smiles, and you knew he was going to have a new life where he could enjoy his new family and meet new dogs and go on new trips and adventures – and you hope that one day you get to see him again.

The day you learn one of those puppies (now a grown adult dog) has lost his life will stop your heart for a split second. You find you are holding you breath. You are at a loss for words and you know the pain that owner is going through is connected to your pain. You sometimes find it difficult to find the words to comfort the owner because you also need to hear those words. But you do it. You tell them how much the dog was loved and how you won’t ever forget him either.

You know this day will arrive but you never plan for it. Nothing you can do can prepare you for that news. That day was today. It was an accident. Not expected. I’ve been numb all day long. I looked through photos and I watched old videos (including the litter whelping videos – yes I videoed it!)

You look at the dogs mother, now 11 and gray, and you know she has no connection to her offspring once they leave her but you hug her just the same and you tell her you love her. When the tears begin to fall they fall for every dog you ever lost. Big ugly crocodile tears begin to fall and they dont stop for a while either. You have lost a lot of dogs and they all need these tears today. You need these tears today.

Run free CH Wavemaker Spincaster – and run free your two friends who lost their lives with you early this morning. I miss you already handsome Tackle.